Saturday, April 4, 2009

Consider the Lillies


Right before Christian was born I fell into an insane nesting phase unlike anything I experienced while pregnant with Nicholas. I think this is because before I had Nicholas I had no idea what to expect, I was busy on cloud 9, dreaming of how wonderful it would be to hold my sweet baby and be a mother. The second time around I knew what was coming and it scared me to death. The lack of sleep, the poop up the back, the feeding every other hour. That was all ok, but what really scared me was 2 things... that Nicholas had colic really bad, and my tailbone was broken while giving birth to him, which meant I was in constant pain for several months. I am surprised that I lived through all of that the first time, but I didn't think I could do it again, especially since I already had Nicholas to take care of. He was in the midst of the 'terrible twos', and he was a wild one with major tantrums. I was terrified of what was coming, and to make matters worse, it didn't look like I was going to have any family members able to come help me, and I was due right before Sam's finals in school, so I would have to do it all alone. In my panic I tried to prepare in anyway I could. I stocked my house with anything I thought I would need for the next 6 months. I filled my freezer with frozen dinners. I bought several packs of diapers. I washed and organized everything. A few weeks before I was due, I finally hit my breaking point. I was stressed to the max in anticipation of what was coming. I broke down and cried late one night after Sam had gone to bed, for probably and hour. I felt impressed to pray, but I didn't want to. I wanted to feel bad for myself. I cried for a while longer and then finally decided to pray. Afterwards I felt calm, and finally went to sleep. The next day as I was reading my scriptures, I came upon 3 Nephi chapter 13, where Christ is telling the 12 to take no thought for temporal things because the Father knows what they are in need of. He says to consider the lilies of the field...

28: And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
29:And yet Solomon in all his glory was not so arrayed like one of these.
30:Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31: Therefore take no thought, saying What shall we eat? or, what shall we drink? or, wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32: For your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33: But seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34:Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

When I read this I thought of the "Surprise Lilies" in Illinois where I served my mission. They were the strangest things. You don't have to plant them, they just pop up one one day in the spring, in very random places, and bloom for only a few short weeks. If He cares about the lilies of the field, how much more does He care about us, His children? He loves us, and will always take care of us.
That is when I knew everything was going to be ok, and it all was. I had a perfect labor complete with no broken tailbone, Christian was an angel baby who slept all the time, and my Dad was able to fly out and help me take care of Nicholas the first few weeks.
I'm so glad the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang "Consider the lilies of the field" in General Conference today. It is a beautiful song, and it will always remind me of that tender time when my Heavenly Father told me how much he really does care about me.

10 comments:

Amy said...

I loved, loved, loved this post. Thank you for sharing it. I've read that scripture and it has really spoken to me. I'm glad to be reminded of it.

Lindsay said...

What a great post, Natalie! Thanks for helping me remember.

Cindy said...

Beautiful post, Natalie. I could feel your angst in your story, and I imagine I might have been the same if I'd ever had another child!

I know that sometimes we have difficult experiences because that's a way for us to learn, but I do so love those moments when I can see that the Lord has smoothed the way for me and provided for my needs.

Kristie said...

That is truely a beautiful story. I love that you share this with us.

Mandie Flood said...

Well...you certainly stand out. The spirit want so much for us to remember, to hear and heed. You didn't know a 3 1/2 month pregnant woman might read your blog and have mirrored events comming soon in her life. You didn't know that your graditutde would speak peace to her mind. Service with a smile is what this post is. Thankyou for listening to the spirit.

Kathleen said...

Beautiful.

Julene said...

I think I lucked out having a good baby 1st. I shudder to think of what my next one will be like!

Thanks for your thoughts. It helped remind me that the Lord will always be there, and that I will not be tested beyond that which I can handle.

Strawberry Girl said...

I love it when such personal answers to prayer come after you finally decide to pray... I get stubborn sometimes, sounds like you do too. ;p

Tyler and Kristen said...

Thanks for the tips! I think I will try the yogurt and the toys, good to know that we arn't alone and that if Christian survivied this stage, we can!

angie said...

you don't know me, but i link to your blog from emily milton's. this is such a great story! i just found out that i am pregnant with my 4th and feeling a lot of those same feelings... like, what was i thinking- do i really want to go through all of this again?

your story bring peace to me! thank you!